


Slipping Into Insanity

by Saoirse_Laochra



Category: Twist (2003)
Genre: Childhood Sexual Abuse, Explicit Language, Forced Incest, Forced Prostitution, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Past Rape/Non-con, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 04:40:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7420261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saoirse_Laochra/pseuds/Saoirse_Laochra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dodge is slipping into insanity. He knows it. He knows it, but he can't stop it.</p><p>David is just the final straw.</p><p>HEED THE TAGS! Trigger Warnings for: Rape, Childhood Sexual Abuse/Incest. Not pleasant, or happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slipping Into Insanity

**Author's Note:**

> So I usually don't write like this, but I guess it's called 'stream of consciousness' for those who care. I know it's a little hard to follow, but that's sort of the point.

Can't think. Can't breathe. Can't get that _fucking_ taste out of my throat. It's hard enough to get it out with the johns… But it's not the johns. It's not some nameless, faceless stranger. It's _David's_ spew that's coating the insides of my mouth. It's my fuckin' _brother_. Jesus…

I need a hit. God, I just need a _hit_. Did David give me the money? Oh fuck, what's wrong with me? He's right… Damn him to hell, but he's right… I'm a whore. I'm just another junkie whore. _God, please, I just need one fucking hit_.

My fuckin' mind won't stop the flashbacks. Hittin' me like a ton of fuckin' bricks. **BAM BAM BAM**. One after another. David, my dad, David, my dad… It's happening all over again, and I can see it, I can fucking _feel_ it, but I can't stop it. I couldn't ever stop it, I can't fucking stop it, why won't it _fucking stop_?

_I don't do this… I don't do this, you do this…_

_Your own fault, you little fucking prick-tease. Why the hell you do this to me?_

_Like getting raped for a living…_

_Shut the fuck up! Quit your whinin' you little bitch! You want this! Tell me you want this!_

_Didn't know he was doin' that to you…_

_Please, dad, no… Stop! Please! Dad, it hurts, please!_

"Stop! Just fuckin' stop!"

Is that me screaming? It's gotta be, look at that guy looking at me. What the fuck is his problem? Probably just another pervert wanting his dick sucked. Need the hit to get through the john, need to get through the john to get the money for the hit…

Need the hit, Christ, _I need the fucking hit_. How the fuck am I back to the loft already? How long has it been since I left Davey in that parking lot? Minutes? Hours? I can't go in, not like this… Fagin will fucking kill me, he sees me freaking out like this… _Gotta calm down_. Gotta relax. As it is, I can barely stand; one blow from Fagin, and I'll be out for the count. Which doesn't sound too bad. Can't sleep without nightmares; maybe being unconscious would give me a few hours peace.

_I just need a few hours._

That's bullshit… I need a new fucking life. I need to erase my old life. But I can't. _Can't erase it_. Drugs barely even cut it anymore. Its' always there, waiting on the sidelines, ready to jump in and knock the wind outta me. Doesn't matter what I'm doing. Doesn't matter how fucked up I am anymore. It's all there… All there, just waiting… Just waiting for the perfect opportunity.

_Stairs. Stairs to the loft. Stairs to the heroin. Stairs to sleep. Sleep._

_Stairs to Oliver_. The little shit who just doesn't fucking get it. I can't handle it right now. I can't have a relationship. I can't do it. I can't let him close. _Can't let anybody close_. What the fuck does he want anyways? I don't have anything left to fucking give, so what the fuck is he trying to get?

Why the fuck is he doing this? He said his foster families were decent to him. They left him alone. They ignored him. _God, what I wouldn't have given to be ignored_. I didn't have a choice in this. At least I have a choice out here. At least I'm gonna make money off being tied down and fucked up. _Why is he doing it_? Who the fuck would _choose_ this life? What the fuck is wrong with him?

What the fuck is wrong with me? _What the fuck is wrong with me?_


End file.
